Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I have returned and I am seriously relaxed



Gone for a month and what has happened?

Fuck all. I guess the plan is to go into camp, see who can play and then go from there. I guess the hope is that one of these #4-7 guys can make the jump to be a #2 or #3.

Yeesh.

Looks like the Traktor Boy may be coming. That excites me.

And I love the newest Oiler site, Hot Oil. At Paupers for Game 6 Alana filled me in on her love for Roloson - good to see that she has an outlet for her lusty thoughts. Apparently Loxy and the Prez need multiple outlets for their passions (Mr. Reasoner and you know who).

Anyhow while I was whiling away the days beside various northern lakes I was tagged multiple times. At first I felt weirdly violated, like the time at Paupers when Chris! cornered me in the mens' room and ... never mind.

Anyhow, much like after that incident, I now feel a little funny and well, pretty good really.

So here goes - I've posted nothing in a while so beware, I've answered both of these deals that have been floating around.

Five Weird Things About Me

Actually these are five stories I like to tell to reveal that I am an ass with little sense but one who has a good time all the same.

1/ I once worked in the film industry. The movies I worked on were just this side of porno. I was not the stunt dick or fluffer but a camera assistant. One of these gems - Vivid - if you have seen it, well, you'll know what I mean when I say just this side of porn.

2/ When I was a camera trainee on Vivid I essentially had no money in my bank account and was working for nothing but food. Unable to afford my apartment I moved out and while I worked to find funds to finance a new place I lived at the Gladstone Hotel in Parkdale for a week. This was not the redone arty Gladstone of 2006 but the serious flophouse filthy dive of 1995 - it cost me $95.00 for a week's lodging. Good times.

3/ Around that same no money period I once drank a full bottle of ketchup at a bar so my buddy would buy me a beer. The beer tasted damn good but a little bit later I didn't feel so good. I would not recommend drinking condiments.

4/ I have no background in computers and got my present job nine years ago because I was dating the company president's niece. At the time I didn't even know how to turn on a computer. I'm still here but the niece ... long gone. I can turn on a computer now however.

5/ Two for one boring drinking stories. As someone who once was mocked for beginning every tale with "Once when I was loaded" I have a million of them, but one I am particularly proud of is the time I showed up with my best friend at a party with a case of Molson Ex, only to be told we were leaving for the bar in an hour. We finished the case in an hour, matching each other beer for beer. Then we went out. Ahh, good old Northern Ontario upbringing paid off that night.

And to prove that with age, wisdom does not necessarily come, just before my holidays a month or so ago, I took my nine month old son to my local and had a few pints while the patrons, a bunch of FOB Irishmen, passed my son and heir around the bar.

Grabia's Topics

Fantasy Leagues in the past year

None - not a lot of time with the new addition

First Jersey/Sporting Item I ever owned

Not the foggiest but likely something to do with the Sudbury Wolves, our local Junior club in my hometown

Five Favourite Sports Books

Fever Pitch - Nick Hornby
Ball Four - Jim Bouton
Riding on the Roar of the Crowd - Hockey Anthology
I Play to Win - Stan Mikita
Eight Men Out - Eliot Asinof

Ten Favourite Athletes

Stan Mikita - boyhood hero
Ryan Smyth - favourite Oiler ever
Billy Conn
Fernando Pisani
Shawn Horcoff
Steve Larmer - the complete player
Wayne Gretzky
Robbie Keane - may actually get to see him play this fall
Alex Baumann - hometown hero
Marnie McBean

Honourable mentions - nearly any Canadian Olympian you can name, Derek Jeter, Dan Hampton, Mike Singletary, John Lynch, Mike Foligno (another boyhood thing)

Three Athletes I Admire Secretly but am ashamed to admit for fear of ridicule

Robbie Alomar - spitting incident and prima donna act aside, the greatest Jay ever before he got a big head (and I mean that not in the Barry Bonds/Sammy Sosa sense)

Iginla

Tyler Dellow - his on ice antics make him a hated foe but I'd take him on my team anytime

Five People I Tag

Nobody - I think I'm the last one to get these damn chain letters

Three People I'd Pay To have Coffee With

uhhh

Kevin Lowe
Eric Duhatschek
Natalie Portman (sad I know)

One Thing I Would Change

Not a goddamn thing.

Yeah right.

We all know the answer to that one.

7 comments:

allan said...

This guy really liked your movie.

Just the review makes me feel dirty.

Julian said...

Fever Pitch really is a good one, I plan on rereading it soon even though I understand very little (ok, nothing) about English football.


I think I told you about The Tropic Of Hockey by Dave Bidini at Paupers after game 6, no? Have you read it yet? I really do think you'd like, but then, I can't say I know much about your taste in books...

Earl Sleek said...

Welcome back, Pat!

You know Lowe doesn't do anything meaningful without running it past this blog first, right?

Black Dog Hates Skunks said...

Hey julian - I have played hockey against Bidini and I saw his show on when he was in Russia but I have not read any of his stuff - have only heard good things though - will add it to my list; I read Fever Pitch at least once a year - we are going to London in September and I'm going to try and see a game

allan - imagine being there - filming sex scenes is boring as hell though

Showerhead said...

Welcome back - and don't be ashamed of the Natalie Portman one; the interviews I have seen with her show a very well spoken and intelligent young woman. And there was that one time she was a hardcore rapper.

Alana said...

"what you want Natalie?"
To drink and fight!

Classic.

Black Dog Hates Skunks said...

Oh, I know she's a real smart cookie alright.

I just feel like a dirty old man.

And I'd have to have a half dozen pints just to get out the word "hi".