Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Pork The "Other" White Meat? Give Your Head A Shake!



I had the greatest summer job when I was a student. Paid well, worked outside, had a company car, was my own boss and my actual boss was a crazy oldtimer who could curse better then anyone I have ever known, even in the twenty years since I worked for him. He could throw a 'cocksucker' or 'motherfucker' into any conversation just as casual as can be. He'd be talking about a picture his granddaughter drew "Really, Pat you should have seen this cocksucker! Beautiful drawing of her Grandpa and Grandma. Cocksucker!"
Reminds me of a set of commercials I saw when I lived in Florida starring Samuel L. Jackson. It may have actually been for something to do with hockey. In them he's walking around, talking to regular people, throwning casual 'motherfuckers' into every conversation. One ends with him squatting down beside a couple of five year olds with a puppy "That's one cute little motherfucking puppy, boys", he says.


We didn't have lunch when I was working for the gas company. Generally I'd drive right from my home to wherever I was working that day. I'd start early, work through lunch and be done by mid afternoon. It was sweet. When I did go into the office in the morning, however, we would always go for breakfast. We'd leave the office and whoever was in our crew would meet for a quick scoff, usually at this little hole in the wall diner near my parents' house. The grill was right there and the place smelled of grease. It was a family operation and it was either the mom or the daughter who would get our orders. It was the typical breakfast you get at a diner - two eggs, ham, bacon or sausage, home fries, toast and coffee. The coffee was good and so was the food. We'd sit around and shoot the shit, my boss would smoke, we'd eat, he'd smoke some more and then we'd get to work.


Ham, bacon or sausage. All from one animal and, as Homer says, a magical animal at that. The breakfast animal.


I love a roast chicken or one of those barbequed beer chickens. I'll eat all of the skin off one of those bad boys and then really get to it. But there is no comparison between chicken and pork. Who the hell does the marketing for pork? The NHL? The other white meat, my ass. Get serious. Pork fucks chicken up the ass and leaves it begging for more.
I love a roast of pork. My Mom does it right. She buys one with a big fatty rind on it. Those are the best. The fat melts over the meat and of course if you are lucky you'll get a nice hunk of that rind on your plate.
My wife is not much for roasts but Dog bless her she called me shortly after we were married to surprise me with the news that she was cooking a pork roast that night.

After I wiped myself off from the excitement I expressed my gratitude. This all turned sour when she complained about the difficulty of cutting all of the damn fat off the roast. I shrieked in anguish and told her to please reattach the rind by whatever means necessary.

She replied that she had thrown it in the garbage. I told her to retrieve it, wash it and get some toothpicks. Damn it.

------------------------------------------------------

Speaking of pork, one of MacT's recent comments was about putting lipstick on a pig. Sunday's win over the Avs was an ugly one for sure. I am not worried about the Oilers one bit, to be honest. Well, not because of the preseason and Sunday. I have some concerns but I had them in August. Fact is this team had not played as a team for almost ten days and that game ten days ago was the only time they had played together, period. Sunday they didn't have their legs, no, and they were out of sync as might be expected. Stupid schedule - almost everyone else has played three games and in a timely manner. A week in tonight and the Oilers will just be playing their second game. Their legs and heads need to get into game shape still.
I only caught the third period on Sunday so I missed the awfulness that was period one and period two when the ice was tilted the wrong way. The third period was not great but not so bad either. Other then the sequence that led to the penalty shot the play was pretty even, I thought, although the kids did get hemmed in a couple of times.
Lipstick for this particular pig? Penner was the most impressive Oiler and he and his line gave the Avs problems. Moreau was hard to handle down low a few times, actually both of Penner's goals including a Moreau cycle in the process. Like someone said the other day about Steve Bernier, I want to see this in game twenty five before I start jumping up and down but its a great sign.
Gilbert and Grebeshkov showed some calm feet and moved the puck well. Tom also laid out Darcy Tucker which made me smile. Visnovsky separated a very large forward from the puck along the boards and turned and moved the puck quickly. Strudwick did not look out of place.
And I know it was noticed by others as well - Pouliot winning a third period draw against Sakic after an icing and a shift where the Avs had the Oilers' fourth line hemmed in. He only got to take it because Brodziak got tossed but at some point we have to see him between Pisani and either Cole or Penner, do we not? Doesn't this just make sense?
Two points in a game they did not play well in is two nice points to have and it was nice to see the Oilers winning one at the end. That six seconds means one less point for the Avs come April.
Oink!

7 comments:

Bruce said...

IIRC, 6 seconds was the time remaining when Sakic scored the killer goal that tied the last game between these same two teams, ultimately sending it to a shootout that the Avs won and effectively ringing the death knell on the Oilers' 2007-08 playoff drive.

So to steal a game late and leave the Avs without so much as a Bettman Point at the next opportunity is poetic justice. Their turn to be left begging for more. ;)

km said...

Pork Barrel Spending: Sheldon Souray

Black Dog said...

bruce - I was at The Wheat Sheaf here in Toronto for that game with Tyler Dellow, Mike W., Chris!, Andy, Matt Fenwick, Alana Pentney and a number of others. Good time, except for that result.

What I remember from that game is Stoll losing at least two straight faceoffs to Sakic with at least a minute left. And then Sunday in a similar situation (except not in the last minute) Pouliot came up roses.

Arcanas said...

I always preferred Pork: The one you love ;)

HBomb said...

I love a roast chicken or one of those barbequed beer chickens. I'll eat all of the skin off one of those bad boys and then really get to it. But there is no comparison between chicken and pork. Who the hell does the marketing for pork? The NHL? The other white meat, my ass. Get serious. Pork fucks chicken up the ass and leaves it begging for more.


Poetic, again. But 100% true.

Dennis said...

I would like to hear more stories about this great job:)

Black Dog said...

dennis - they're coming - just have to pick them out of all of the other junk floating around in my head