Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Chinese Restaurant


I think I was around twenty years old and it was a terrific day, one of those warm days in April where the promise of summer hangs in the air in the heat and the buzz of a city about to go mad with the coming of spring. Overcoats and boots are replaced by tshirts and sandals and being a shut in from the slush and cold is replaced by wandering the streets of the city once again. A handful of us were putting off writing papers or preparing for finals and so we decided to grab some lunch. There were some terrific places right around the corner from us but five minutes to get there and back was not as good as thirty minutes each way on that day. So we decided to head down to Chinatown.

We made our way down St. George Street across Bloor and down into the University. The University of Toronto sprawls for blocks across the city and you can get a good workout just attending your classes, if that sort of thing is your cup of tea. We walked south past the enormous library (no books on the first six floors, great place to nap), past the food trucks that sold everything from fries and burgers to Mongolian Barbeque. Down past the residences for Innes College, past the Sid Smith building on the west side and the University College residences on the east side. All the way down to College where St. George meanders down to Queen Street as Beverly Street, lined by tall century old red brick houses. But instead of following Beverly down to Queen and the Rex Hotel, a respectable jazz venue now, a rundown old beer joint twenty years ago where you could get a pitcher of cheap draught and drink it undisturbed except for the mumblings of the rummy at the next table, we took the turn west towards Chinatown.

This day we didn’t go into Chinatown proper but hit a cheap little joint just before Spadina, right on the edge of that crowds teeming, horns honking, stink of food rotting in the heat mess that wonderful Chinatown is. We marched right in and sat at a table right at the front so we could watch the people walk by.

And the people who walked by on that hot day! Again and again young women would glide past our view in sandals and shorts and skirts, little shirts or slight blouses and hair in the warm breeze, smiling in the generous heat, arms and legs and necks and bellies bared to the sun for one of the first time in months.

They marched past us until I couldn’t take it for a moment more. I sprang up and raced down the stairs to the tiny bathroom, locked the door and immediately had probably the best masturbation session of my life. Just thinking about it makes me excited. Totally serious. What a glorious day that was.

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A few posts ago Littlefury said the following:

I hope you're damn old because if you ever run out of sepia-toned anecdotes with tenuous hockey tie-ins, we're all pretty much fucked.

So lets just start by saying that I don't even have a tenous tie-in for this story. Not a one. Maybe just that it is pleasurable to watch the Oilers play these days. Four wins in five games.

And let me just assure you that I'll be forty one on Saturday, which is ancient around here, so I have plenty of stories and when I run out I will just start making them up. My daughter, at five, is crazy smart and she is just learning about the meaning of fiction and non fiction. So as she says "That is fiction. I know that because the pig is talking and pigs don't talk."

So when pigs start talking or you start reading rambles like this or this, then you will know that you're stepped through to the other side.

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As for the, um, Oilers, well things have been going well in Oilerland lately and of course a loss tonight will send everyone into a tizzy just as the loss against the Witness Protection Plan on Thursday did. Fact is there is little to choose from between most teams on most nights and a team with a hot goaltender can certainly carry the day, just as the Oilers did a week ago on Saturday.

The positives for the Oilers are starting to build, I think. Five and two in their last seven and they could have won the two they lost. Smid seems to have gotten himself back into the lineup and has stabalized the third pairing. Visnovsky has been terrific and Gilbert has as well. And Roli has been providing very good goaltending.

Up front the top line has been a top line, led by Hemsky who is a star player now. Cogliano has gotten clearance on the other kids, although against soft opposition, and I expect Nilsson to start a nice run now.

Presently there are three concerns for this club as far as I am concerned. Can Grebeshkov get back to where he was after Christmas last year? If he can then this club looks nice from one through six on D. (Although I think Grebs is tradebait personally).
Can Gagner begin to produce offensively? LT and Tyler have both shown this past week that the kid actually has pretty good underlying numbers. He just doesn't have the counting numbers to show for it.

And can they get Cole going offensively? This is the biggie right now. Erik Cole producing offence would go a long way towards making this club a playoff team.

I think when Pisani gets back he moves to shore up the Brodziak line, which has been getting outchanced in a big way, and Cole moves up to play with a couple of the kids.

And if those moves work then this team will be looking pretty coming into the stretch drive.

Now excuse me while I go have an egg roll.

7 comments:

Swabbubba said...

41 ancient then I am dinosaur. But I read the other blogs but they do not have enough depth as the history of the Oil has passed them by. Here's a tip for how old I got hammered in a bar one afternoon with my brother and Curt Brackenbury.

So true on Cole but he is trying to get something. He just needs a bounce then he should be good to go.

HBomb said...

They marched past us until I couldn’t take it for a moment more. I sprang up and raced down the stairs to the tiny bathroom, locked the door and immediately had probably the best masturbation session of my life. Just thinking about it makes me excited. Totally serious. What a glorious day that was.

Sweet christ almighty, I am in tears of laughter after reading this gem.

You have outdone yourself Pat. Great work.

But you're never allowed to use the bathroom in my house if you are ever my guest. End of story.

sacamano said...

Funny -- I never pictured HBomb as being a nubile young thing.

Scott said...

But you're never allowed to use the bathroom in my house if you are ever my guest. End of story.

Then he'll never be able to go to your house, or you'll need to build him an outhouse. He gets nervous in new places if I recall correctly.

Anyways, great stuff as always BDHS. I told my girlfriend that she should start reading your blog (wants to learn about hockey and likes stories). I must confess, I hope she didn't start today. I'm sure I'll find out soon.

David S said...

I hope that was the best egg roll you've ever had BD. Because it'll be the only positive on this night.

Black Dog said...

Things will get better. I can feel it!

Yeesh.

Swabbubba said...

Stay away from the blue acid... hmmm would appear the Oilers were all on dope tonite. Nice job these twits stink the joint out. Have they even won once in the new unis... burn the fucking things... with or without some of the dolts still in them. If they fucking lose bad again in Van they better look for another home.