Thursday, March 26, 2009

We're Going To Eat Like Kings!


One summer back in the salad days a few of my friends from school made the trek up north to spend July 1st in the wilderness, the McLean camp. No electricity, no running water, only boat access. Paradise for a McLean. Or at least some of us. The mental ones.

We would have been twenty one or twenty two, somewhere thereabouts. The lads drove up on a Friday night and met me at a bar on the south end of town which just happened to be our Friday haunt. Sometime after closing we staggered through the door of my parents house and crashed.

Next morning we loaded up on beer and meat, the two staples required for a weekend in the wilderness. The amount of alcohol we brought up was ridiculous. The amount of food nearly as much. I assured my friends that the one thing we could rely on was that we were going to eat like kings.

For some reason I repeated this phrase a number of times. Why, I have no idea. Twenty years later I still haven’t lived it down.

This was one of those trips where nearly everything went wrong from the start. We got to the landing where I realized I had forgotten the keys. Two hours would have been lost going back to town so we went to a nearby cabin and borrowed some snips so we could get the boat unchained from the dock.

Across the water and was lucky enough that we had a spare key hidden behind a log in our cabin so that problem was solved. It soon became clear that one thing I had never done was light the stove as I failed miserably at that. I figured out the fridge though and we had the barbeque so we were ok. That day was spent sitting in chairs in the water drinking beer in the sun and wandering into the sauna, out into the lake, back into the sauna and so on. That night, if I recall correctly, and I may not, we feasted.

And then we ran out of propane on the barbeque.

Now my memory is fuzzy all of these years – like I said I seem to recall dinner the first night but I may even have been wrong there.

And we may have had leftovers for the second day and survived but I may be wrong on that too. I do remember one of my buddies trying to cook bacon on the pipes of the sauna but what day it was floated away on a river of Old Vienna or Ex (beers of choice those days) long ago.

In the end we fled the wilderness and made our way back into town where we hit the Pizza Hut or Pat and Mario’s and ate like five guys in their early twenties who haven’t eaten in nearly twenty four hours would eat. Good thing it wasn’t buffet or they’d be out of business is what I’m saying.

And then we went drinking in town.

The end.

-----------------------------


You’ll have to excuse Oiler fans for looking at the strips of bacon in their hands and the pipes in front of them and wondering what the hell is going on here. We figured we’d be eating steak and tenderloin and cassoulet and sausage (God I love sausage) and strawberries and butterscotch pie and other kinds of pie (but not cake) and cold beer and red wine and instead we’re getting tripe and the poorly (ironically?) named Superior Lager.

The problem is that last year’s furious finish got hopes up. I am with Ty in his estimation of that club but I’m also with those who looked at the additions of Cole and Visnovsky, another year of experience for the kids and the return of Horcoff, Souray, Moreau and Pisani to full health and figured that they would be in the mix for a playoff spot.

Which they are. I figured 7-10 would be the range and it is.

But its still not satisfying. Its been a weird weird year. MacT has lost me and I won’t bore you with the details because I’ve listed them ad nauseum. The team is flawed but it should be home and cooled, I think. Too many points given away and you can make excuses for this club but the fact is we’re eating Chef Boyardee when we should be eating, like, well, kings. And of course the club and MacT himself trumpeted high expectations from day one so if the natives are restless well you can wonder if maybe some of the Oilers' brain trust might have been a little smarter if they had just kept quiet.


Lets just hope that they get over the hump or we may be talking about this twenty years from now. Believe me, I still hear those words all of the time.


"We're Going To Eat Like Kings!"

8 comments:

FireFox said...

made the trek up north to spend July 1st in the wilderness, the McLean camp. No electricity, no running water, only boat access. Paradise for a McLean. Or at least some of us. The mental ones.

Paradise indeed Pat. Holiday weekends away from the crowds with nothing to but fish, enjoy the sun, rum, and BBQ - the wonders of the camp in the woods.

As it pertains to the Oilers - they better be hoping that someone knows how to build a fire and find a way to get cooking. Its not looking good at this point.

Thanks for the sharing the great stories and anecdotes on this blog.


Fox

HBomb said...

God I love sausage

That's what SHE said....

And we may have had leftovers for the second day and survived but I may be wrong on that too. I do remember one of my buddies trying to cook bacon on the pipes of the sauna but what day it was floated away on a river of Old Vienna or Ex (beers of choice those days) long ago.

Ex is good beer. OV (affectionately termed Old Vagina by a friend at the Boyle, AB liquor store sometime in 2002), not so much.

And that image of trying to cook bacon on sauna pipes, well, that's something else altogether.

Swabbubba said...

Yo I was sure this was KD year again. But u know I think I have had so much smoke blown up my ass over the years that if I ever get cancer of the ass I am going to sue.
It would not be arch if it was not insane playoff race by the Oilers. I think Katz has it planned more medication can be sold for hypertension, sleep disorders, ulcers, smoking cessation....

Scott said...

I think that your point about the management and coaching pumping up expectations is key. I think most reasonable voices were calling for something similar to you but then the braintrust is calling out a division title which usually means playoffs shouldn't be a problem. It was just a terrible call, and unnecessary given what they'd done the year previous. Might have made Edmonton a more fun place to be for the players too. They've been booed on home ice so often this year it must get disheartening at some point.

Black Dog said...

Yeah Scott, I think that is a key point. I think Ty did a post where he had quotes from MacT and Brodziak from last spring essentially saying 'hey, we're trying hard and we're playing well but lets face it we're really getting a lot of luck"

Now a lot of fans didn't catch on to that latter part of it but it seems that management and the players also forgot themselves over the summer. Maybe a couple of months on the boat, the golf course and in the pub hearing people pump up your stretch run will do that to you.

I figured they would be around where they are but considering they have been pretty luck injury wise and the long list of games where they were so unprepared to play (moreso early in the season) and the strange handling of Penner, the PK, the PP etc etc ad nauseum I think that if they miss the playoffs it will be a major disappointment. Considering that Dallas and Colorado fell off the cliff and Anaheim and Nashville sagged and none of the usual alsorans except the BJs and Hawks really surged forward there was a spot there for the taking.

Not. An. Acceptable. Result.

Black Dog said...

Thanks Firefox.

Hbomb - ahh we had the same nickname for the OV. Its quality shit.

swabb - all part of his master plan?

doritogrande said...

H-bomb and Blackdog: You've never properly been initiated into the Old Vagina clan until you've beer bonged one of them. God I love camping.

Our group heads out for drunken daubachery once a year to a nearby Provincial Park to reak havoc on nature. We drink too much and eat too much meat and I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't wait.

Doogie2K said...

I had 7th, yet I can't help but feel that even if they do accomplish precisely that, they'll still have underachieved, based on how things have gone on the ice. Put another way, they're wasting a pretty good year from Roloson and a couple of others on a whole lot of dipshittery.