Friday, April 03, 2009

Does Anyone Else Feel, I Don't Know, A Little Uncomfortable?

On Monday my wife will have been gone for three weeks and we're hanging in there but really I'm starting to get a little punchy. Buddy of mine came over tonight with one of his kids and we had some pizza and while I was talking to him I realized that I'm a just about at the tipping point. Work has been mental and while the kids have been great the lack of adult conversation, confinement to my house almost 24/7 and the whole single parent thing has me drinking more then I should. Once the kids are in bed its beer, work, hockey and porn. Whatever gets you through the night, yeah?

And strange days all around. The other day I had a little pull into a cup and brought it to the lab to check if I was sterilized (better damn well have been!) and bring it in there and its a little place and there are three young employees just hanging around with nothing better to do but watch this old man bring in his dead.

'So then, you already have your specimen'

'Yes, yes, here is my cup of cum'

'Wonderful, when did you cum into that cup?'

'Um, two hours ago.'

It went something like that. Jesus.

So here I sit, drinking my Sgt. Major IPA, courtesy of Scotch Irish Brewing of Carleton Place Ontario. I actually once dated a girl from there. Tiny little town outside of Ottawa. Terrific beer and their Porter and Session Ales are great too. Highly recommended. Totally getting into the IPAs these days. Always been a big Stout guy but the IPAs are coming up fast.

As an aside my folks were up for over a week to help us through the present crisis. Dad is going to be 77 in a couple of months. The Colonel I once called him because of his uncanny resemblance to one Harry Morgan, remember him? To know Dad is to love him. Anyways he always stops with drinking from New Years until Easter and so he was dry when they were down here which was good because someone had to stay sober to keep the kids from lighting the old dog on fire. Poor old dog. I've been working from home for a week and a half and he's just laying around being old, stinking up the place (bath tomorrow) and worst of all he's eaten something that's haunting us now. The house reeks of him. Anyways he's old, poor guy. I bought him a squeaky toy and its been so long since he's had any attention that he hasn't the first foggiest of what to do with it. And after supper tonight I threw him a pizza crust and this guy used to be Ozzie Smith when it came to catching anything in his mouth and strangely enough here he booted it. So I threw him another and again he snapped at it and it just whizzed by him. So I turned to my buddy and said 'I don't like the looks of this' and tossed him a third and caught him right between the eyes. Poor bugger.

So if the kids wanted to tie him up and light him up they certainly could I'm afraid.

So Dad was here and I cracked a Sgt. Major and he took a break from his regular scheduled programming (weather) and told me about a guy he knew back in mining school, some Finlander, and like all of them (they were Northerners and in their early 20s) buddy with the vowels and ns and ms in his name was a big drinker and what did they call him? Ipaaaaaa.

Ipaaaaaa.

Beautiful.

Now this is all apropos of nothing but I figured that would bring a smile to your face and damn it, we need one, no? The one thing about these tough weeks for me is that the whole Oilers' collapse is really not as dramatic as many would make it.

Its too bad really because MacT is a good man, I think. He is certainly thoughtful and articulate and he is a pretty good coach, I think. He was given a flawed team again this year but the realityis that he has really had a poor poor year behind the bench. I'm not talking about the stick measurement the other night. Just a whole lot of bad choices and of course the disastrous special teams and it has become apparent that what was bandied about months ago is true - he has lost this team. Eight years in Edmonton and it was bound to happen. Its happened to better. So its time for him to go. You can't trade the whole team and getting nothing for Penner, Nilsson, and Pouliot isn't going to make things any better. Not to mention that Hemsky is unhappy and I think you could probably throw out a whole bunch of other names who would not be sad to see the coach go.

Can't trade them all. Is it unfair? Well it would be easier to coach these guys if they had to augment their income with summer jobs like they did back in the day but fact is this is the way it is and a big contract didn't ruin Jeff Carter or Perry or Getzlaf or Vanek or Roy or ... well, you get the picture. The kids make big money these days. Better be able to figure it out. Ken Hitchcock hasn't had a problem getting Rick Nash to play, right?

The team has underachieved. Not by much but they should be a playoff team.

So MacT will resign. And what is funny is that in the maelstrom now surrounding this team the one guy who is handling himself with dignity is ... MacT. The media feeds the frenzy. Fans resort to rage and name calling that is beyond ridiculous. The owner texts the pregame show host (huh?) and after the game Lowe holds a press conference that made me feel like I was watching one of those old coming of age movies like Lucas where I couldn't help but feel awfully uncomfortable as the little nerd tried to impress pretty redhead Kerri Green. We're talking squirming in your seat, avert your eyes, wondering how this is happening uncomfortable.

Not the same as watching a Flock of Seagulls and realizing that these guys were actually considered very cool. Seriously. Look at these guys. They're wearing makeup. And gigantic glasses. And the hair. Jesus.

That shit makes me cringe but not for the same reasons.

Anyways once again this summer will feature a bunch of players moving around and there hasn't been a dull moment since the lockout and you know what I would like?

Next year I would just like them to finish fifth or sixth, in the clear by March.

Too much to ask?

I figured as much.

Ipaaaaaaa!

14 comments:

Dana J said...

These posts are awesome. Thanks for sharing with everyone.

Bruce said...

BDHS: Hang in there. She is definitely worth waiting for.

You're right things are crazy in Oiltown just now. I opted out of watching the game last night, was invited to a social evening out and having been beaten into summission by a string of disappointing losses, decided fuck it the Oil can lose without me. Which they very well could.

Heard the K-Lowe presser on the radio on the way home and shook my head in disbelief. Was reminded of MacT's fabulous comment about the Wizard of Oz (Burke) but it seemed to apply more to Katz than anybody. What the hell kind of owner says nothing all year and then sends a four-word text message to a single media guy about the hottest issue the team has faced since he purchased it? Crazy.

Came home and watched the (terrific!) Game in an Hour recap on RSN at 11, saw the Oil put in a better effort but shoot themselves in the foot again with another fundamental blunder. Second game in a row a bad line change cost them the goal that put them behind to stay (too many men PPGA vs. the Ducks, and a horrible all-at-once change in the first fucking minute against the Sharks). Those are the sorts of things where some will point fingers at the coach, and some will finger the players for having their HUA which in turn still comes home to roost on the coach in some eyes.

Then I read the GDT over at Lowetide's place -- always a great place to catch up on a missed game -- and I think I picked a good night to sit one out. Crazy stuff.

Coach pb9617 said...

'Yes, yes, here is my cup of cum'

The odds that this will be in a Kevin Lowe press conference are 13-1.

Pat H said...

the video for "I ran" is so, so, so fascinating.

I actually LIKE the song (ducks for cover).

Jonathan Willis said...

And what is funny is that in the maelstrom now surrounding this team the one guy who is handling himself with dignity is ... MacT.

Yeah. Earlier in the year it looked like that dignity had gone by the wayside, but it's good to see it back.

Scott said...

Another wonderful read Black Dog. There's a part of me that wants to see MacT stay on. It's probably just my desire to see reconciliation between all the parties involved. It honestly seems like a lot of folks are upset in that locker room right now and that there aren't a lot of players willing to look in the mirror to start solving the problem. It may be a problem that runs deeper than the coach or it may just be an issue of needing to win some games.

Black Dog said...

Thanks, Scott - I am a MacT fan and he will land on his feet elsewhere and do well, I am sure, but there is a malaise in the room, has been all year. The nice run right before the break, if it had been sustained, might have fixed the year - winning will do that - but it wasn't. As for the team, well I guess if he goes and things don't change then we'll know something runs deeper but I think the message is just stale.

As Bruce points out, fundamental errors, bad line changes and so on; this team kills itself more often then not.

Malaise. And MacT contributed to it. As Jonathan alludes to earlier in the year he was out of character. Guys can smell a phoney or someone who has run out of ideas. Then its the death spiral.

Black Dog said...

coachpb - 12-1 I would say

Thanks Dana, and thanks too Bruce, forgot to say that. Appreciate it.

Pat H. - no need to duck. I'm still all about the 80s music. Terrific stuff and the videos are awesome. Its just amazing to look back and think that these people were considered cool. Even the guys in U2 had the frosted hair and wore singlets.

My God!

But the music and videos are the greatest.

doritogrande said...

We all keep saying that MacT enteres each and ever year without a full deck of cards, but to my knowledge very few teams have no weaknesses. Some coaches just make the best of their situations.

Vancouver entered the season without scoring. As did Calgary for that matter. Chicago came in (pun intended) as green as Edmonton is. Anaheim had to keep Ryan in the minors the first month or two due to cap issues. St. Lou was too young. Nashville is Nashville, and Minnesota had MAB, to go with not replacing the scoring that left in the offseason.

All these teams with holes are ahead of us in the standings. Some were augmented halfway through the season (so were the Oilers remember) but their coaches made due with what they had, changed their game plans and overall, succeeded. How did MacT overcome his roster problems? How did he motivate the horses he had?

He's been a good coach for a while, but it's time for a new voice behind the bench. It pains me to see the Oilers continue to trot out MacT like he's some untouchable. San Jose were what, 2-3 in the Conference last year and now have a new coach. Chicago didn't like the direction Four games into the season and made the change. And MacT continues to get a free pass.

Pat, you can blame Kevin Lowe for this all you want, and I'm starting to come around to your reasoning on this, but the gun should now be pointed at Tambellini's temple with the fans chanting "Go ahead, make my day".

Black Dog said...

dg - ah you're preaching to the converted when it comes to the attitude that this team is young/has holes

St. Louis has lost a pile of important players, exiled their starting goaltender etc etc and yet they left the Oilers by the side of the road.

Don't get me wrong - MacT has to go.

And I would be happy to see Lowe go too. He's still making the decisions, imo, its his team. He should go. But it won't happen.

But yes now its up to Tambellini. When MacT resigns if its Buchberger or another old Oiler replacing him then Tambellini should as well because it will be quite apparent that he's not doing his job.

HBomb said...

But yes now its up to Tambellini. When MacT resigns if its Buchberger or another old Oiler replacing him then Tambellini should as well because it will be quite apparent that he's not the true GM of this team.

Fixed it for ya Pat.

Swabbubba said...

You know the thing that gets me we find a diamond in the rough... GlenX and we toss it. The is what all the other teams have they have one player that is playing way over there head. We cannot get any of are "star" players to play to there potential. I think I used that word before was warned and I think it came true.
I hope they have moment for fiancée that got killed that sucks huge. Go Oilers.
I want no I demand Ted Nolan to be the next coach. MacT he did some stupid things but you are not allowed to use a taser on your players.

kanadienkyle said...

No Kerri Green picture?

Black Dog said...

Was thinking of it. Next time.