Friday, February 25, 2011

Trade Deadline Haikus




Every year I go to a Leafs' game with my best friend, a fellow I've know since I was five. We get beauty seats through his work, go for supper and some pints and then the game. We saw the Pouliot penalty shot game, one of Smyth's last as an Oiler, probably my favourite of these outings. We saw the game when Dan Cleary got hit in the face with a slapshot. Two years ago we saw a glimpse of what was to come as Chicago, down three going into the third iirc, spent the third period in the Leafs' end, winning the game in overtime. We saw Wendel Clark night and a night celebrating the 1967 Cup winning club which included some awesome casual Red Kelly racism. This will probably be our tenth I think, something like that.

Last year he asked me who I wanted to see and I said it had been a while so why not the Oilers? It was terrible, one of the worst games I've ever witnessed and he was a bit sour. This year he called me in December and said we're going to see the Penguins. Beauty, right?

Looks like its the Wilkes Barre Penguins unfortunately. Oh well at least the Guinness, the company and dinner will be good.


------

Trade deadline's a coming. Rumour is the Oilers want Schenn and Simmonds. The Oilers should extend Hemsky and Penner. This whole idea that Hall and Eberle are going to be great so they can get rid of 83 and 27 is fucking stupid, there's no other way to describe it. Not sure why a club can't have four good wingers is beyond me.

Having said that, Schenn and Simmonds? That's LA's best prospect and a young NHL player and a pretty good one at that. Sign Penner and get that for Hemsky and while I don't know if I could get totally behind it I could probably live with it. Schenn is about as good a bet as you can find outside of the NHL I would say.

We'll see. I can't see LA giving up that much and if Tambo is asking for that and sticking to it then good on him.

Here's a little haiku action.

-----------

Two year old daughter
Sociopathic antics
Make Daddy mental

---------

Hemsky and Penner
Going away for more picks?
Trade Tambo instead

----------

Oh Khabibulin
An ice chip in your left eye
Flew up from your drink?

(hat tip to Deano for the gag)

----------

"The smallest market"
Needs a new rink to compete
Playoffs help profit

---------

Franchise in the ditch
The drivers still at the wheel
What the fuck is that?

--------

Sore vagina flu
Minor stroke gout ankle sprain
Gil Brule's ailments

--------

Tambo Lowe LaForge
Unemployment awaits you
Make it happen Katz

-------

Souray on the farm
How will he spend millions?
Fan of chocolate?

-------

Tom Selleck's moustache
I have to believe it is
A popular ride

-------

Oh Anne Hathaway
I'd give you my Oscar
Do not call the cops

5 comments:

kanadienkyle said...

Can I say something funny about "fist" and Anne Hathaway, or is this a family blog?

Pete. said...

This is perhaps a family blog, for the type of families who have dinner table conversations about gory circumcision mishaps and celebrity third nipples. Liberal, modern families.

The Brule one's awesome. Nice use of gout.

Word verification: moidulse. Another of Brule's ailments, I think.

macaotim said...

Best t-shirt, apart from the Obama-Mao I bought at the market the other day:

Haiku's are easy
But sometimes they don't make any sense
Refrigerator

A friend made this up and it went viral. Check it out...

http://www.stylehive.com/bookmark/typetees-tshirt-haikus-are-easy-but-sometimes-they-dont-make-any-sense-threadless-700713

Yum

Travis Dakin said...

"The smallest market"
Needs a new rink to compete
Playoffs help profit




GOLD.

Andrew said...

Hahaha I laughed at a couple of these. The Anne Hathaway one was my favorite.

------

Oilers make me smile
on ten best games DVD
not on live TV

------

Afraid that's the best
I could do in time limit
assignment due soon

------

Word verification: sande. If its in the wrong place it's definitely another of Brule's ailments, like Pete said